Sleepless in Upstate NY

Well, my little one was up to her "old" tricks again! Two more nights of the Late Show, live from my little girlie's crib! Last night was better, so I'm hoping we're on an upswing again and that I can catch up on some more sleep tonight!

Three nights ago my husband had to work late, unexpectedly, yet still had to be up at 2:45am to be at work by 4am!! And that, of course, was the first night the my little one started the late night routine again. It had been a chaotic night at our house with my husband at work and me trying to get dinner made and kids ready for bed and lunchs made and toys picked up and school bag packed -- I'm sure you know the drill! Anyway, when I was trying to get the girls ready for bed I realized that all of my baby's warm pj's were in the wash! So, I'm running around trying to get my older daughter (who's been fighting a cold all week) to bed so that she could get up for school the next morning, and at the same time I'm running around trying to find something warm for my younger daughter to wear. And I swear, at some point during that 15 - 20 minute whirlwind, she went from tired to overtired. If you have kids, certainly you have experienced this phenomenon. They can be tired, and you push it just a little farther than you should -- you don't get them to sleep during that tired window of opportunity, and then BOOM -- now you've done it, they're OVERTIRED and there's very little you can do to rectify that. Some kids just get completely miserable at that point, some kids catch a second wind and won't/can't fall asleep.

Overtired is a big thing in my husband's family. At some point a number of years ago (after my first niece was born, but before my kids came along), the "Great Overtired Debate" began. I'm not even sure how it would come up in conversation, but it came up fairly frequently, and the two sides were my mother-in-law and her sister completely understanding the concept of a child being "overtired" and my brother-in-law (my husband's sister's husband -- does that make sense?) pooh-poohing this idea. At the time he thought it was ridiculous -- you're either tired or you're not tired. You can be REALLY tired, but what the heck does OVERtired mean? He just did not get it. There were others of us who agreed with Mom and Aunt Nancy's side, but we tried to stay on the fringes of this debate. For quite some time, there was no winning my brother-in-law Joe over to the other side. And then something changed -- his daughter (my first niece) got a little older, and then came her sister, and at some point there the light switched and Joe was introduced to the overtired experience. He's a firm believer in the concept now!

Anyway, my baby girl was just WIDE awake -- she had caught a second wind and was ready to play all night. I would lay her down in her crib, she would immediately pop right up on her feet again and walk around her crib, talking, laughing -- everything but sleeping! The next night we tried again, and my husband had put her pj's in the wash (5 pairs) that morning and yet neither of us remembered to put any of them in the DRYER -- what were we thinking?! So again, this dawns on us at bedtime last night and he runs down and throws a pair in the drier and we wait for it to finish, hoping that we will not round that bend of overtired again. We get her dressed, I lay her down, tuck her in, and she seems like she is off to sleep -- hooray!!

Until I am heading to bed an hour or so later and I am in my older daughter's room trying to wrestle her legs back under the covers (honestly, there could be a blizzard in her room and she would still want to sleep on top of the covers!) and I'm not making a sound when I hear from my little one's room, "HEY! HEY!! Ya-Ya! Ma Ma!! HEY!!" (She sometimes calls her sister Ya-Ya) And that was it, she was up. And as tired as I was -- overtired, one might say -- I had to stifle a laugh because it was so funny to hear that loud "HEY!" break the silence. I tried to get her back to sleep and I'm not sure who fell asleep first -- probably me, because the last thing I remember was hearing her laughing hysterically -- in her crib, in her room, in the dark -- and I couldn't imagine what she was finding so funny in there! She definitely cracks herself up -- and me too, even in the middle of the night!

I have to say, no matter how tired or crabby I feel, it's so wonderful to be able to listen to her or look at her and to almost feel this light turn on inside of me. She is such a great spirit-lifter -- a very sweet soul in a cute little package!

What a Theme!

Ok, completely off the subject of motherhood, but every once in a while moms should get to throw a party that does not involve cone-shaped hats and pinatas, don't you agree? I mentioned my impending "Pub Night" dinner club theme the other day and I had so much fun putting it together that I just had to share it! Part of the reason I am so pleased with it, is because I was feeling in a real rut with what to do for this dinner party. We have been getting together once a month for the better part of 8 years and it rotates between 4 couples, so it is at my house close to 3 times a year. We've done murder mystery parties, fondue night, Caribbean night, Hawaiian night, Italian night -- you name a country, and we've probably done a dinner around their food! We've also covered some of the holidays -- Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day and I'm pretty sure there was a Cinco De Mayo in there too. We usually do favors that we give out at these dinners, but after one garage sale where we were all selling the many kitsch-y plastic glasses that we had acquired as dinner party favors, we decided to keep it to things that we could easily use, but that would also not clutter our houses. With all of that in mind and the fact that frankly, having this dinner fall after Christmas and between my daughter's and my husband's birthdays, I was feeling less than inspired about coming up with a theme that we hadn't already done, that would also not break the bank (because, as you may have guessed, I can go a little over the top sometimes...).

My party ideas always spark from something small -- in this case, I thought about the favor -- as I've mentioned before, my husband and I love music and we love to burn cd's, so I thought that we could make a cd mix to give out as our favor. We have tons of blank cd's and tons of music, so that would be free, essentially, and hopefully something that our guests would enjoy. For some reason, that made me think of all of the British groups that we have on cd, which led to thinking about having a pub night. My husband started working on the music and I started working on decorations. From the internet I found and printed pictures of some of "the Royals" (the Queen, Prince William, Prince Harry, Prince Charles, Diana) along with other famous Brits -- Churchill, Margaret Thatcher, and of course, David Beckham! I went around my dining room and living room and I stuck these pictures into frames that I already had out with pictures of my girls and family. I searched on the internet for other ideas -- found a recipe for pickled eggs which I made for the novelty, but there were actually a couple of guests that were brave enough to try them! I also read online that most pubs have frosted windows so that patrons can't be seen from the outside. On our trip to the dollar store, I bought a white plastic tablecloth that we taped up on the front window of our dining room which made it look like a frosted window. I also took some of my daughter's "window paint" and I painted the name of the pub that we had come up with -- "The Bull and the Nag Inn" (nagging, get it? that was mostly my husband's idea, I suppose he's the bull).

Here's a great tip for working out a party theme with limited expense -- talk to your friends and family about what you are planning! Just from sharing my idea with my office mate, she came in with trays and beer steins and plastic pitchers for me to use for the evening! And my father let me borrow his dartboard and his new Union Jack flag (which I hung over the portrait of my daughters that hangs over my fireplace)! My best "find" for this dinner party, was truly a find -- I knew that when we bought our house from my grandmother, that she had left some china for us in a tub in the basement. When I went down to look for it (I thought it looked slightly more British than mine) -- I found 2 sets down there, one that I had never seen and it went perfectly with my theme! Not to mention it's a great set -- full service for 8, so I cleaned it all up and put it in my kitchen cupboard to use on a more regular basis.

The most fun part of the decorating for myself and for my girlie, was that we took dry-erase markers and wrote on the (non-porous!) tiles on the walls of our bathroom! It was a silly thing that I thought of to get a few laughs from our guests, but I got my girl to help me and she had a great time writing "Liv was here!" and drawing pictures on the tiles. Maybe that was stretching the theme a bit, but sometimes you just have to have fun, and I think it's great to let my girl do something a little "crazy!" Don't worry -- she's well aware that we don't normally write on the walls! And, with the non-porous tiles, the dry-erase markers wiped right off! Easier than the paint on the window -- it came off, but it took MANY wet paper towels!

It was a fun night for us, and I think our friends had a good time too. One of the most important things that I have learned as a parent is that while we love our children and want to spend as much time as possible with them (especially when you are a working mom, like I am!) it's also so important to get to have some time with grown-ups, too! This dinner group is actually a great idea for parents -- we rotate between our friends' homes and our own home, and when it's at our house we don't need to find a babysitter! Our girls were great last night -- with the way dinner was timed, we got them to bed right around dinner, so it wasn't a late night for them, and before dinner they were both a little in on the theme -- my older daughter was all dressed in green (for Ireland) and she put a tiara on, and we had our little one dressed in a little Scottish/English-looking outfit. Hey, everyone has to participate in the theme, right?

"The Daring Book for Girls"

I have to tell you about this great book that I got for Christmas this year. It's called "The Daring Book for Girls" by Andrea J. Buchanan and Miriam Peskowitz and I just happened to see it on Amazon.com while doing some early Christmas shopping this past year. It was just published in 2007 and it's kind of an "everything a girl could possibly ever need to know" book -- great for a young girl, or like me, the mother of girls!

This book contains all sorts of interesting information from a list of essential gear that no girl should be without (including a Swiss Army knife, hair band, duct tape, and patience to name a few), books that will change your life, how to change a tire, yoga, and campfire songs. It also has craft ideas, games, and information on famous women -- Joan of Arc, modern women leaders, famous women inventors, women spies, and so on.

I can't wait to finish reading this fascinating book and more than that, I cannot wait to start sharing some of these things with my own "Daring Girls"! I'm not sure which my girl will be interested in trying first -- palm reading or making friendship bracelets. It will be a few years before we get into the chapter on boys and the chapter on how to negotiate a salary!

The Things We Hand Down...

So I have to tell you about my deep "soul-searching" around my daughter's birthday. While preparing for her party, I had to pick out a cake for her -- nothing super fancy from the bakery anymore. I find that for the kids parties that she likes to have now that she is in school, the traditional sheet cake decorated with the latest popular characters is the best way to go. When I went to the store to place the order, I looked through the book with all of the cakes and there were a few she's already had, and a few that are now too "baby-ish" for her (in her opinion), and there were a few that she would have liked and I chose one of those -- a "Bratz" cake. Now, I am NOT a huge fan of the Bratz dolls, and my girl has "suffered" because of this -- ALL of her friends have them, and some of her cousins -- she was like a social outcast (in her mind) because up until last year she did not own any. If you have ever seen a Bratz doll, you will know what I am talking about -- I feel as though they look very similar to a cartoon prostitute, which I do not really find to be super appropriate for a 7 year old. Well, Mommy will not buy them for her, but Santa has given her a Bratz doll each of the last two Christmases -- but at least he has picked out the most tasteful, least obnoxious that he could find...

With this in mind, I was talking to my best friend Christine after I ordered this cake and I said that they also had a cute Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean cake that my father would love, and a Harry Potter cake that my mother would love. And I mention that I was torn, because my girl also LOVES Harry Potter -- LOVES him -- and has mentioned having a Harry Potter themed party the past 2 years, but I have kind of swayed her into a different direction. Christine then calls me on the carpet about ordering a cake for a character that I am mostly opposed to, and not letting my child have the Harry Potter theme party that she would really like. I say, "Well, I know, but the Bratz cake actually is the least offensive Bratz product that I have seen, and she does really like them, and I think that my girl would be the only one at the party that would like Harry Potter." SO? It is HER birthday! "Yes, I know, but it's all little girls and I don't want them to think she's odd because she likes Harry Potter and they don't." And Christine told me, "If SHE doesn't have a problem with it, don't MAKE HER HAVE a problem with it!"


And so I've been pondering that for a while now... Where did this come from? Aren't I the mom who bought my girl the "Free to be You and Me" dvd that I watched in the '70's? Didn't I sit there with her, watching it countless times (she LOVES that dvd, by the way!) and talk about the story/song "William has a Doll" and how it's perfectly ok for boys to play with dolls and for girls to play with trucks and what have you? Don't I think that women can do anything that men can do (and better, sometimes...)? Aren't I trying to raise my girls to be strong, confident, independent, free-thinking women? So where is the disconnect with the Harry Potter cake?


After a lot of thought on the subject, I don't think that it has anything to do with "girls should like girly-things and boys should like boy-things." I think it comes from a fear that I always had growing up that I was not going to fit in, and that I didn't want to be different from everyone else. Was I different? Well, everyone is different, which I tell my daughter now, because if we were all the same the world would be a very boring place. But, was I really some stand out from the crowd, weird child? I would definitely have to say, no. In fact, looking back I think I was terribly boring and average -- I wanted to blend into the crowd -- I would about keel over if someone noticed me! And interestingly, I think I blended fantastically -- I am quite convinced (and although my friends would disagree, there is mounting evidence to the fact) that almost no one that I went to school with remembers me! I think I am much more outgoing now -- still not interested in getting up on stage by myself and performing for a crowd, but much better with meeting new people -- yes, I am definitely more confident as an adult.

And my husband has told me time and again about how when he was growing up he was so shy that he would sit in the car at family functions and would at some point after the party started, slip into the shadows, trying to ease into being noticed -- by this family!

So, the fact that we have this daughter who, at times has a hint of shyness, but for the most part seems to relish having a spotlight turned on her 24/7 -- really, beyond me! And not only is she not as shy as her parents were at her age, she really does not seem to give a hoot about what people think of her! She loves Harry Potter and she doesn't care if she is the only girl in the first grade who knows about Harry Potter. She loves the "Laura Ingalls" bonnet that her "Aunt" Chrissy gave her, and she'll wear it to school, or out shopping at the mall -- doesn't bother her one bit if she looks different from other people!

I'm so proud of her for being her own person and being confident about who she is -- I just pray that I keep my ancient insecurities to myself and I don't pass those on to my daughter! I always try to encourage her creativity, and I'm going to make it a point to encourage her confidence and her uniqueness, as well! Oh, and on her actual birthday, I surprised her with the Harry Potter cake, and she loved it -- just like I knew she would!

A Special Birthday

Happy 7th Birthday to my sweet girl! I can't imagine where the time has gone -- it has literally passed in the blink of an eye. She's getting to be such a big girl -- very independent, very headstrong, but still my sweet, little love! This morning she was awakened by a phone call from her cousin in Long Island who will be 7 in March. That was a special treat for my girl, because she considers this cousin to be one of her very best friends -- they are two peas in a pod, for sure! She took a shower this morning so that she would be "birthday clean" as she put it, and she had gym today so she could not wear a pretty dress as she would have liked, but she did get to wear a cute, new casual outfit that we gave her for her birthday.

For breakfast (terrible mother that I am...) I offered her a special birthday cupcake, but good for her, she chose Cheerios instead (and she even eats them without sugar!). We let her open one of her birthday presents before school, and the one she chose was a "Groovy Girl" doll, to add to her collection -- she just loves them! She had the ultimate (to her) in birthday luxuries -- she was a "car rider" today! Daddy drove her to school, partially as a treat for her birthday, and partially because he was helping her carry in her birthday snack for the class. Instead of cupcakes or cookies, she chose (for the 3rd year in a row if you include preschool) pudding cups to share with the class! It's funny though, as much as she enjoys NOT riding the bus to and from school, when we heard the bus go by this morning, I saw a brief flicker of panic on her face, as though she had missed it!

Daddy picked up her up from school today, and tonight we had a little family party with her Nana, Grandpa, Great Gram, Great Uncle Mark, Great Uncle Dave, and Aunt Charlene -- we have quite a "great" family in every sense of the word! She so enjoyed having everyone come out for her special day -- and on a snowy Tuesday night, to boot! It was a little bit of a bittersweet day for us, because last year on my girl's birthday, right before my father got to his parents' home to pick them up for the party, my grandfather suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. Today, while our girl was at school, my husband and I went with a few of our family members to pay our respects in memory of him. As sad as it is that we lost him, and as difficult as the timing was, I think it is nice that we are able to come together as a family and remember him, and yet also have the happiness of my little girl's birthday to focus on. She was blessed to have her great grandmother at her 7th birthday and I think that my grandmother finds her (and her sister!) to be a special blessing too!