Waiting for Spring

I need a nap. I am feeling quite tired these days – not just physically tired, but mentally too. Something is zapping my energy – work, home, the weather… Just when we start seeing the ground, the snow pops up again. I have had a lot of different things on my plate at work lately, and while I love my job, I can’t get too excited about any of my projects right now. We were blessed to have visits from my mother-in-law and her sister, followed by a visit from my brother-in-law the following weekend – all of whom we love dearly. But in spite of how much you love having visitors (and I really do!), and as often as they tell you that you don’t need to entertain them, I still like to be a good hostess, and that can be tiring sometimes. I’m wrapping up the year of preschool events but I still have the school carnival to plan. My husband and I also volunteered to host his mother’s family reunion that takes place every four years in a different location. We will be hosting it during the Summer of 2012 but we’ve already begun deciding on locations, planning logistics, thinking about projects around our house that need to be done… Between all of this, regular life, and some things going on with my girls (which I will fill you in on soon), I am feeling quite tired and I’ve been neglecting my blog, which I love! I’ll try to do better! Hopefully, Spring will come soon and bring me a breath of much needed fresh air!

My Guilty Conscience. Period.

Have I mentioned that guilt is a big thing with me? I feel it all the time, about everything. Even things over which I have no control. Some people call it “Catholic guilt” – maybe… Or it may come from my grandmother – she has perfected guilt to an art form (don’t tell her I said that!). Regardless of the source, and my usual, relative innocence, I feel guilty all the time. The latest cause of my guilt? The agonizing weight of knowing that I need to have “the talk” with my 10-year-old daughter, particularly about getting her period… Too young? Yeah, that’s what I think too, but kids are growing up so quickly these days, and I would rather her a) hear it from me than from someone at school, and b) be prepared in case it shows up unexpectedly while I am not around to help her.

I have asked other mothers (friends of mine, relatives, her friends’ mothers) to see if they have brought up the subject with their daughters, and have found out that no, they have not. Some are not really worried about it yet, some are thinking about it and planning how to bring the subject up. One family member let me borrow a couple of books to read with my daughter, but I have been so freaked out by the whole thing, that I had not even taken them out of the bag! I have also swapped stories with friends at work, my mother, my mother-in-law – I’ve received lots of good advice on what to do – prepare her, just in case is the big tip. LOTS of friends never knew anything about it until it arrived – big surprise! Also, a friend at work mentioned that once her mother told her about it (after she got it the first time) her mother neglected to tell her that it would only last a few days (and come back every month, of course) – but she thought it would continue for the rest of her life – continuously! See? Good information to have!

I have a slightly unique situation, considering my daughter has a form of OCD that we refer to as “stuck thinking.” She can see or hear something that is upsetting to her, and it will get stuck in her head and cause her a great deal of anxiety. I have been trying to walk the fine line between telling her too early and causing her to endlessly perseverate over the idea, and not telling her in time and causing her to freak out when it arrives unexpectedly and she is unprepared. SIGH. Decisions, decisions…

So, now that you have an idea about my state of mind for the past, um, six months or so, let me tell you what NOT to do. Do not wait until the last minute. And the last minute for me was after a particularly stressful day, with an episode of “stuck thinking” and anxiety in the morning while getting ready for work and school. And a pronouncement to my family that night that I have a very important event for work the next morning and I cannot have a repeat of that morning’s episode – everything must run smoothly – please, oh please, be Mommy’s big helpers! And then we wake up yesterday morning and things are running smoothly, until my daughter tells me that her lower back is hurting her and she describes the pain as “crampy.” And my guilty conscience rears up and tells me, “You should have told her sooner!” And I worry that, while I don’t know why her back is bothering her, it COULD be a hint that “IT” is coming (having lived through many, many crampy back pains over the years…). So, what do I do on my crazy, busy morning? I decide not to let my daughter go to school without a little bit of information about possibly getting her period. But I am in a race to get my daughter and myself ready so that she can get to school and I can get to my important work function… Needless to say, it was not the sweet, mother-daughter bonding moment that you might see on a tv. I tried to start out calmly and first asked her if she had heard anything about it from her friends. No. Then I started to explain that as boys and girls get older, they go through some changes. Boys’ voices might change, boys and girls start growing hair in other places on their bodies, girls begin to grow breasts… And then I launched into the talk (as best I could – not great on the spur of the moment) about girls getting their periods. It did not go well. After much stress on both of our parts, and her insistence that she was not interested in having that happen, I asked, “Would you rather have the information ahead of time and file it away for when you need it, or would you rather be surprised?” And she said with a sigh, “Have the information.” In the end, we both felt better and she did hide a couple of little pads in her backpack, just in case. It ended up being a false alarm, but I would never have forgiven myself if I had sent her off to school unprepared and something had happened!

As a follow up to our delightful talk, I had planned to buy the American Girl book, “The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls.” I saw it at Barnes and Noble recently and thought it was wonderful – I should have grabbed it right then and there! Luckily, my friend Kristin actually had a copy of it and she is letting me borrow it until her daughter needs it. It really is a great book for young girls to have. It covers everything from hair care, hygiene, ear piercing, choosing the right bra, and of course, everything you need to know about getting your period. My daughter and I sat down this morning and looked through the book together and read a little of it. This is something that we both feel comfortable either reading together, or she can read it and we can talk about it together.

Most importantly, however you handle it, I think it is so important for girls to get this information from their mothers. I specifically asked my daughter not to talk about this with her friends or cousin until I know from their mothers that they are informed on the subject. I told her that it is important for their moms to tell them -- not her! It is not an easy topic to bring up, but once I was able to get over my own discomfort about discussing it, we both feel better about it and she is ready -- whenever the time comes!

Quick & Easy Valentine's Day Decorations

My girls and I love to decorate for the holidays or the different seasons, and we were getting a little tired of the snowmen decorations (and the snow...). The snowmen were what we had kept out from the Christmas decorations after we removed all of the Santas and took down the Christmas trees. I have collected a few Valentine's Day decorations, but the house was feeling a little bare, so I came up with a free and simple solution! I went through the construction paper that we had in the cupboard and I pulled out any of the red, pink (the other side of the green hearts...), or purple paper that we had. The girls and I cut out hearts in different sizes, and we taped them on the large front window in the dining room and the sliding glass door and windows in the living room. The girls also took a couple of hearts and taped them to their bedroom windows. Now, I "splurged" and spent $1.99 on a packet of white, lacy paper hearts at the store, and we mixed those in as well. But next year, I think we'll just make our own "lacy" hearts by cutting out hearts and then folding them and cutting them as though we were making snowflakes. It was a fun and quick little project that made the house look festive for Valentine's Day! We are planning to keep those up for the month of February, and then we'll switch over to shamrocks for St. Patrick's Day!

Happy 10th Birthday!

Today's is my girl's 10th birthday! In some ways it feels like time is going quickly and I can't believe that it's already been 10 years since she was born. But, it is also hard to remember life without her! She is a wonderful, beautiful, intelligent, funny girl and her dad and I are so proud of her.

Happy birthday, Lulu!

American Girl Doll Birthday Party

This year, for my eldest daughter’s 10th birthday, she chose to celebrate by having her two best friends come over for an “American Girl Doll Sleepover.” (She got the theme gene from me – I’m so proud!) Santa brought her first American Girl doll for Christmas – Elizabeth (Felicity’s best friend). My daughter and her two friends have been best buddies since they met in the 3’s class in preschool. They have a great friendship that they have maintained even though they do not all go to school together. And it’s wonderful that they get along so well – even in a group of 3, which is not always the easiest number!

This would have been a very low-key birthday party on my part, if I were the type of person that could HAVE a low-key birthday party. My girl decided on the theme, we decided on the date, and a couple of hours later she handed me two very sweet, hand-drawn invitations that she had made with an American Girl doll drawn on the front cover and all of the details inside. I simply addressed two envelopes, stuck the stamps on and voila - popped them in the mail! At some point I should really think back and right some posts about some of the birthday parties I had for my girl for her first three years. Talk about taking themes over the edge! I would make the most over-the-top invitations that were very time-consuming (but cute), and by age 4, I decided that no one cared about them as much as I did – and I took it down a notch! So, addressing and stamping was a breeze!

In keeping with the theme, she invited the girls to bring one of their American Girl dolls and a change of clothes for the doll. I went online to the American Girl website and I ordered two kits – “Doll Parties” and “Doll Purses.” These were super cute, but I would recommend that you first check your local Barnes & Noble – I paid for “expedited shipping” to get them here in time, and then found them the day before the party at Barnes & Noble! Each kit was $19.99 and they both come with cute books with info for throwing AG doll parties or making these cute little paper purses for your dolls. The purse kit was well worth the money – the girls and I sat for a good hour putting purses together, and they were quite cute! The party kit was cute, and comes with supplies for 4 different seasonal parties, but I think I could make doll-sized paper plates and streamers, etc. for less in the future.

Instead of making a large cake or ordering a cake, I baked cupcakes and had the idea of turning them upside down and frosting them so they looked like little doll-sized cakes. Very cute idea, but a little tricky to frost! I got through 7 and gave up – but that filled the platter I was using, so that was fine with me. I could have continued the “doll-sized food” for dinner to keep with the theme, and made sliders, but my girl is a Pizza Hut fanatic! We ordered Pizza Hut pizza and I set up a salad bar on the kitchen counter with lots of salad fixings for the girls to create their own salads.

With the party approaching, I realized last Thursday that we did not have a “goody bag” for the girls. In keeping with the theme, I thought about sewing little pillows for the girls’ dolls. I have a sewing machine, I can easily sew a straight line, and pillows are my specialty! Well, then I thought, ‘A pillow by itself is not that comfortable for the poor dolls! They should have a blanket, too!’ Uh huh. Fortunately, I mentioned this crazy line of thinking to my friend Karen, and she reined me in a little by suggesting that I buy fleece, so I could just cut the blankets out with pinking shears and skip the sewing. Great idea! While I was at the store buying fabric, I found some 18” doll clothes, and they had the cutest little bunny slippers – 3 pairs left – perfect! I snatched those right up! If I had thought of the goody idea a little earlier in the week, I would have saved myself a lot of last minute stress. But, I got everything done in time (finished the pillows while the girls were playing Barbie’s downstairs) and I left the little piles (blanket, pillow, slippers) in a row on my girl’s bed. That made a nice surprise for the girls when they went up to bed. (To chat and giggle – not to sleep!)

It was a nice little party and the girls all enjoyed themselves. My daughter’s actual birthday is this next weekend, so we will have Grandpa and Gramby over for dinner and cake. And not to start too early, she’s already planning a bowling party for next year! (She gets that planning gene from me too!)